


The Time Natasha Romanoff Took Steve Rogers to IKEA

by aschuylersister



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (at least a reference), Avengers - Freeform, Howling Commandos - Freeform, IKEA, Natasha is a good bestie, Natasha is a questionable driver, Natasha likes cereal, SHIELD, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve's sad apartment, Takes place between The Avengers (2012) and TWS, mcu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-27 23:14:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10818765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aschuylersister/pseuds/aschuylersister
Summary: In which Natasha Romanoff, super-spy and assassin extraordinaire, decides that Steve Rogers cannot live in the sinkhole he calls an apartment. (IKEA is kind of expensive, but who cares when SHIELD can pay for it all?)Takes place between The Avengers (2012) and Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)..........This work is purely fiction, all characters belong to Marvel, etc. etc.





	The Time Natasha Romanoff Took Steve Rogers to IKEA

Natasha presses the lock-picking device to the doorknob. Of course, she could pick this lock if she had to, but SHIELD technology makes everything so much easier. It clicks open in less than a second. No alarms go off, no giant guard dog flies at her throat, and Natasha rolls her eyes, annoyed. This is by far the most boring break-in she’s ever embarked on. She had been hoping for some kind of a challenge. For such a smart super-soldier, Steve Rogers should really invest in better security.

Natasha slips into the apartment, closing the door lightly with her fingertips. She grins a Cheshire Cat grin, and looks around. The space is dimly lit, and dust hovers in the air like a film, making the whole place look almost sepia-toned. Natasha’s black leather and red curls stand out like she was drawn in relief against this dark background. She skips across the room with a spring in her step, and turns on the radio. Of course Steve won’t get at TV, or even a computer. Just his SHIELD issued smartphone and this ancient radio. The station is set to 40’s hits, and Natasha rolls her eyes once more, switching over to Top 40 pop. She glides around, sharp eyes scanning everything. There’s a hook on the wall, presumably for a jacket, but it’s empty. Steve is at SHIELD headquarters right now. A cracked wooden desk and a wooden desk chair made from different kinds of wood are the only pieces of furniture in the living room. It’s heaped with papers. Files from SHIELD, mission reports... Natasha tsks. Really, Steve. Literally anyone could waltz in here and help themselves to some very sensitive information. The kitchen is bare, while a search through the drawers and cabinets reveals just enough food and utensils for one person. There are no decorations, save a single black and white photo, taped to the wall with a single piece of blue painter’s tape. It’s of the Howling Commandos, and it appears to have been neatly cut from a newspaper. A shaft of sunlight falls on it, and the article on the other side shines through. 

The bathroom is clean, with a single toothbrush in a glass by the sink. Toiletries are neatly arranged in the drawer, and Natasha feels a little bit better. At least Steve takes care of his personal hygiene. The bedroom is what could be expected. The bed is neatly made, military style, with white sheets and a dark green comforter. The chest of drawers is simple, with more mission reports sitting on top. There’s a lamp by the bed. The door to the guest room is closed, and the room is completely empty.

Natasha helps herself to a bowl of Cheerios. Honey Nut, thank goodness. Natasha doesn’t know if she could’ve forgiven Steve if they had been that awful cardboard flavor. She crunches on it as she contemplates what she’s discovered. She frowns. Steve can’t live like this, she knows that much. No one can live like this without being depressed as all get-up. No wonder he divides most of his time between SHIELD and Avengers Tower. 

An hour later, Steve comes home to find Natasha sitting cross-legged on his counter, polishing off the last of the Cheerios. “You’re out of milk,” is her only comment. Steve isn’t really that surprised to see her there. He leans his shield against the wall, and starts to take his jacket off. “Ah ah ah,” she says, hopping off the counter with a quickness and agility that can only be described as combat-ready. “Leave that on. We’re going to IKEA.”

Steve racks his brain for IKEA. “What?”

Natasha rolls her eyes, setting the bowl in the sink. “It’s a furniture store.”

Steve looks around, bewildered. “I have furniture.”

“You have a depressing sinkhole that shouldn’t even be called an apartment. Come on.”

Steve protests the whole way out to the car. He protests on the drive over, and he protests as he pushes the cart around IKEA while Natasha asks him which color wood he prefers for this bed and that desk. He protests as Natasha gleefully charges everything to the SHIELD account, and he protests as he helps the starstruck IKEA employees load everything into a truck they rented. He protests as Natasha drives the truck back to his apartment, faster than a truck with several thousand dollars worth of furniture in the back should probably be going. He protests as he and Natasha get everything into the apartment, only breaking the leg off one chair. He finally stops protesting when he and Natasha set everything up, and clean out the apartment, opening the windows to help get rid of the awful dust. He smiles when Natasha carefully takes down the Commandos picture, and carefully places it in a frame she bought. His smile gets a little bigger when Natasha pulls out a second frame and a second picture. It’s a selfie she made him take on a mission one time. Steve’s in his suit, the shield over one arm, and Natasha’s in black leather with her open parachute in a heap behind her. Natasha is wearing her supermodel smile, but her eyes gleam mischievously. Steve looks confused, as per usual, but his smile is genuine because Natasha had just made him laugh. It’s a good picture, and Steve puts it right next to the one of the Commandos. 

It’s past midnight when they’re finally done, and the apartment finally looks like a home. It’s a blend of Natasha’s eye for tasteful design, and Steve’s simplistic nature. Steve thanks her, and tells her it’s perfect. Natasha yawns, throws away the takeout cartons, and informs Steve that she’ll be in the brand new bed in the now-furnished guest room, and tells him to wake her up when it’s time to report into Fury’s office for their brand new mission in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Developed as a headcanon I had while watching TWS. Because no way did Steve Rogers buy himself a shelf full of artfully-arranged glass bowls. Nope, that had Natasha's fingerprints all over it.


End file.
